If You're One of Those People.....Stop It!

     I'm sure we have all been there, in a situation mouth open in awe at the sight or sound of things people say or do, maybe up-hauled, disgusted, annoyed or some other various emotion that makes us stop and say to ourself...."Really?! Come on!" I've been making mental notes of these encounters and now I am going to share a few of them with you. Lately I have found myself coming to a complete stop and looking at the gene pool with nothing but shock and dismay.

     As I've mentioned in previous blogs, technology is mainly responsible for making our society living zombies. How about the self check out lanes? Where now, we are forced to do someone else's job. Last I checked I came to the store to buy food....I'm hungry. I didn't know I was coming to work. Now I may as well slap on an apron and ring out my own groceries. OK fine. Seems simple enough. Well it is. I seem to have no trouble finding the bar code and ringing the product through the laser pad and sending myself off, usually quicker than if I waited in line and had someone else do it. But what about the people you see standing in front of the self checker in utter silence not understanding how this "new machine" works. It's not new people! You have been watching grocers ring you out for years. It's the same method. Nothing has changed. Bar code to laser and in the bag! Nope! You'll get that person waving a box of oatmeal frantically wondering why it won't scan. Produce? Forget it. People have lost all touch with reality when they have to enter a produce code in. That really sends people through a loop. The other day I was in the self checkout line (and lately I've been making a lot of ground turkey stuffed peppers, so I became familiar with the 4-digit code)....and this old lady was purchasing green peppers and didn't know the code. So naturally she had her head in the air looking straight up at the ceiling as if the 4-digit code would be in the light fixtures. I noticed her turmoil so I figured I would help. (Bad idea!) I said, "Ma'am, the code is 6315." She smiled and thanked me....then in an instant I had two different people on two other self checkouts simultaneously ask me the code for Fuji Apples and Plums. "I don't know," I said, "I haven't bought apples or plums in a while." All of a sudden I became the grocer. So if you're one of those people that doesn't understand the technology and needs the helping hand of a person who is employed as a checker, but you still feel the need to hold up everyone else who DOES understand how these things work....Stop It! Seek live help.

     While we are on the topics of grocery stores. If you are one of those people who is still paying with checks.....Stop it! Get a debit card! (Mom this includes you too....I've seen you pay with check and I've also noticed the eye rolls from people behind us.) Because checks aren't quick. It always involves...."Now what's today's date?" "Who do I make the check out too?" (Who do you think you make the check out to? Maybe the name of the place your shopping at....do you even remember where you are?) Then the check gets stuck in the check reader, approval is needed, Congress is on the phone, and here I am with a pack of gum wondering why I picked the shortest line. I should have known. Another thing, if you are one of those people who thinks you're cute paying with perfect change.....Stop it! "That will be 11.97." Now you get the man or woman digging in their purse or pocket....."Here's 10.....11.....11.50...11.75.....76.....hold on....I got that penny in here somewhere.....Oh! Nope....another dime....I don't wanna break my dime.....damn another dollar...I certainly don't want to break that.....does anyone have a penny? Sir do you have a penny?......) Oh for God sake, here's a dollar just move this along. Give them the dollar and put the 3 cents into a slush fund, you're killing me!

     Moving out of the stores and into the streets where it's filled with people doing the most God awful things imaginable. If you are one of those people who thinks they are invisible and people don't see you .....Stop it! We can see you. Its a glass window you are sitting behind. It's glass! It's clear!  I can see you, and so can everyone else! Why is it when we are on the road going 30 miles an hour or more, we regress back to children. I was looking in my rear view mirror to see if it was safe to change lanes and there it was....I saw it....a man take his finger (and not even hiding it) jammed it right up his nose and started digging. Then retracts the finger and stares at it.....Nope....didn't get it.....back in for another dig. Ahhhhhhh Eureka! I changed lanes....almost through up in my lap and shouted aloud in my car "Noooooooo! Stop it! Stop it! Why?! What the hell?!" Is a tissue not an option? Does a booger in the nose make it harder to drive to the point that people can't wait until they are pulled over safely and can get a tissue? Disgusting!

     Cell phones and phone conversations. If you are one of those people that needs to recount everything that happened in the past week detail by detail...that's fine, but lets make dinner plans and we can discuss it without a phone attached to our ears. Otherwise, hit the key points and carry on. If we do find ourselves at dinner catching up and you are one of those people that is hooked to your phone like a life support system.....Stop it! It's not the time to Tweet or answer phone calls from people that you weren't previously engaged in important conversation with. You asked ME to dinner. You had important things to tell me so let's talk. (OK we are ALL guilty of this one.....but none the less.....Stop it!) If you are one of those people that is wrapping up the call, or I initiate a clue that I need to get going and say something like....."Well, I really need to get going, I'm at dinner catching up with with an old friend." That's not code for "Sooooooo what happened after the ice cream melted?....."

     Now, I haven't gotten involved in Twitter. I downloaded it and got overwhelmed. I get it, I will probably start doing it, it's a matter of time but be selective. If you are one of those people that Tweets things like...."I'm in McDonald's and it smells like fries".....Stop it! It's McDonald's, it should smell like fries! This isn't news or something that needs to be shared.

     If you are one of those people that goes to the beach in a Speedo, and you are not a female.....(do I really need to say this?).....Stop it! Unless you are French, and even then it's uncalled for, just stop it! I'm glad you have a great body, but I don't need to see anything above the knee caps. It's always the old man with the long gray curly hair and saggy man boobs sporting the banana hammock anyways. Gross! Stop it!

     I will stop here. Trust me, there will be a Part 2 to this blog in a matter of time. I will continue to take notes on what I encounter but I believe this is enough to get you started. Oh.....one more! If you are one of those people, who read this and are now thinking to yourself....."Oh this is DEFINITELY not me".....STOP IT! We are ALL guilty of one, if not all of these at some point in our lives. This is just a friendly reminder to take pride in yourself as a classy member of the gene pool. Just trying to initiate a little sanity back. So if you have taken offense to anything I said.....JUST STOP IT!