"Sit on Down.....You are NOT the next one on The Price is Right"

     Well, this morning when I woke up, I was not in a brand new bedroom set. I did not wake up and play a game of pool like I thought I would do on my brand new pool table, I made coffee......but I did not add creamer from my brand new refrigerator and I am certainly not taking off this morning in my brand new convertible. Trust me.....I was soooooo hoping this blog would go differently today.

     For the one hour of nerve bending pricing games and prizes let me explain what goes on behind the scenes. Keep in mind, of all the warm days in sunny California we were attending on what could have been a New York winter day minus the 3 feet of snow. It was freezing. We were there with almost 30 people from the Cirque Du Soleil show (so I thought our odds would be good to get picked) and we all stood in line like cattle watching hell actually freeze over. We arrived around 11AM and took our place in line amongst the crowd. People baring shirts advertising their favorite Price is Right games, Plinko, Mountain Climber, hand written phrases like "Where the hell is Bob Barker", "Help me pay off my student loans", it was quite a site. The weirdest part is, I felt like I grew up with everyone in line. I could swear I had seen about half of these people on the show before.

     OK, so we enter the gate in numerical order based on the ticket number they give you and you are required to stay in that order for pretty much the remainder of the day. So "get to know your neighbor" is a bit of advice I can offer now. There is paperwork to fill out, birth name, social, and the written promise to turn over your first born child for a future prize on the show. So this is the second line we are waiting in with hopes that we will be in the studio in the next half hour. Not so much. Now we filter through an area with a green screen and blue screen to take pictures. Group photos, pictures with the "big wheel", etc. at $20 a pop. This must be where they get the money to give away at Plinko......which we DIDN'T get to play. Next we get issued our name tags.

     We're done right? Not a chance. After pictures are taken you filter into Line #3, in order, and don't step out of line or one of the pages will practically beat you back into place and it is time to await your interview. Interview?! Im an audience member! I considered myself lucky and was going to make the best of this. I have been applying for jobs for a year and a half now and haven't gotten an interview yet, so in my head......Im a winner! 12 people at a time meet with the producer as he interviews for contestants. I forgot to mention that it is now 3:30PM. We have been in the cold for over 4 hours so as you can imagine  my energy at this point resembled a half frozen deer in headlights watching a Mac Truck heading full force to discard me to the side of the highway. This interview.....this long awaited process of whether you would make it to contestant row or not.....this list full of questions.....well here it was......"So Joshua....what do you do?"......" I DONT HAVE A FRIGGIN JOB!!!!! Why do you think I'm interviewing?!" I completely forgot why I was there. My brain cells were frozen and part of me thought I was actually applying for a job with the studio. I was hungry.....cold......and hungry. Our interview lasted all of 1 minute as we were shuffled to Line #4......the other side of the building to freeze for another hour. The only thing that changed was the view. Metal detectors, scanners, irritated pages keeping the lines in numerical fashion, turn over your cell phone, and sit back down on another cold metal bench. (I know I can paint an ugly picture, this truly was a blast in some weird sadistic way but keep with me). So now we wait just a little longer, watching an old episode of Price is Right on the screens they had in the waiting area. I thought a good idea would be to trade the TV screens in for some heat lamps at this point.  FINALLY! 4:30 rolls around and we can enter the air conditioned studios. 5 and a half hours of lines and waiting for an hour of TV that the only participation I had in was to clap.

     Being in the studio and gracing the audiences of one of America's favorite game shows somehow made all the waiting a torture worth it. I do have to say, your energy starts off really high. Clapping, screaming, cheering for the contestant that "took YOUR spot" on contestant row, with hopes that your name is right around the corner. You could be next, so energy remains somewhat high. As things progress you feel your chances slipping away. So now you just clap really loudly, maybe let out a scream here and there, but as contestant after contestant gets called and it's NOT your name, you slowly are left with barely any energy and sore hands. But these people are smart. They keep your energy up until the end, because after the show is finished taping, they call one last name of someone who did not get to "Come on Down" and this person will be picked at random and win cash and a prize....but you have to keep the energy up. So I give it my all. One last vigorous clap, shouting at the top of my lungs for the cameras and as they call the woman's name who won it changed very quickly, you can only feign excitement for someone else winning so long....."Eh screw it! I didn't win. Let's go."

     Now, as treacherous as this sounded....I will go back. I will wait through the lines of anxiety once again. I will not let this stop me. I WILL spin that wheel! I WILL play Plinko and I will be the S.O.B. who overbid you by a dollar. I took with me the lessons I need to learn that you really need to be completely obnoxious and stand out in the crowd to be picked by the producer as a contestant. So next time.....WATCH OUT! I WILL be on. I WILL be the next contestant on THE PRICE IS RIGHT!!!